Happy Halloween!

Well, it is Halloween. It is also the day of the time change... don't forget to "fall back". It is dark outside way too early. I am so sleepy and it is only 7:10pm right now.

Not too terribly much going on with me right now. At least not anything I can really talk about. I guess this post will be mostly just filler so you all don't think I have died or some such. I know, I will give you a brief rundown of things I have to do this week... that ought to be interesting (yeah, right!).

* Return my old Palm V so I can get a $50.00 gift certificate to buy a new expansion card for the new Palm Zire.

* Sort out my gym membership. I haven't gone in forever and they are threatening to delete my last three sessions by 12-05-04.

* Laundry... lots and lots of laundry.

* Give Buddy a bath... or part with some moolah so someone else will.

* Make sure Buddy finishes all his medicine... and put some more medicine in his ears.

* Work up a presentation to give to the Beaverton Safetynet group about what my job is with DHS. (I am not entirely sure I should even be involved with Safetynet, but maybe something will come of it.)

* Work up a presentation for all the DHS offices about what I *don't* do... namely, I will not tell them if a client is lying or telling the truth about whether or not they have been in a DV type relationship. I am not the "truth-sniffer-out-er". I know that's not really a word, but these folks are treating me like I am a bloodhound or something. Geez....

* Filing... I have piles of household filing to get done. I hate filing.

I went grocery shopping today. $174.00 worth of groceries. But I have enough food for at least the next week, maybe two if I stretch. I got only the good stuff, too. No pizza or junk food. I even got Buddy a chew bone. I have to get him a new bag of food this week, too.

* Get Buddy some more food.

I am going to go before I bore anyone to death. I know some of you are almost comatose at this point, so that'll be about enough out of me.

Love to all,

Sherry

Noise...

Good morning everyone!!

Today, I have been thinking a lot about the nature of our existence in the modern world. Living in our time is unique... not because of how much of our attention is demanded, but because of how much of our *inattention* is required to exist peacefully.

There is so much in the modern world we are not supposed to attend to. A random radio playing in another cubicle, the train or other traffic sounds going by outside beneath your window, some random homeless person shouting obscenities at the air when you are walking your dog.

And it’s not just living in the city. Everywhere I go, I have something I am supposed to be ignoring, but only partially because at any time it could be important. I have 2 cell phones, a pager and a Palm Pilot. If any of them vibrates or rings, it is something I must pay attention to. But, right this moment, my work cell phone is beeping every few minutes to tell me that it’s battery is dying. I don’t have the charger with me, it is either lost at home or stolen from one of my DHS desks. Either way, there is nothing I can do to rage against the dying of the light for my poor cell phone. So, that’s a beep I shouldn’t pay attention to.

I set my pager up to turn itself on and off on it’s own. It faithfully comes on at 8:00 am every morning, with a cheerful little chirp. It’s not something I need to pay attention to. Yet, I have chosen to think of it as the little electronic machine’s version of saying "Good morning, Sherry! How are you this morning?" Today, on the drive to work, I found myself looking at the clock on the radio, waiting for 8:00am to arrive, so I could hear my little "Good morning!" beep. My radio must be set a minute ahead of my beeper. I was a little worried when 8:01am rolled around and the little beeper hadn’t said anything. If 8:02 came and there had still been no sound, I would have been checking batteries, seeing if the pager was essentially sick or hurt. This is a piece of plastic and a few wires, folks, and I have endowed it with the power of thought, speech and the ability to become sick, requiring care-giving on my part. This is not right. I know it, you know it... and yet, there it is.

Let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you were truly alone? Truly alone and completely surrounded in silence? There was no background noise, no machines whirring in the distance... no copiers buzzing, or air conditioning humming? No television, or radio, or computer text in front of you? No early morning garbage truck slamming around giant metal dumpsters like an angry child at play? No dog breathing quietly at your side? No nothing... just quiet and you?

How long do you think you would have to maintain that state before all the thoughts and concerns of your everyday world would fade away? Before you could get rid of the Britney Spears song that has been stuck in your head, and periodically reinforced by the media, since it first came out on the radio? How long until you wouldn’t remember the jingle for Jello? (J-E-L-L-O!) How long until you would just be yourself?

Can we ever even be ourselves without the others? The other humans who make the sights are sounds that, most of the time, we are supposed to be ignoring?
I don’t know.

Worse yet, I don’t know if I ever want to find out.

Love to all,

Sherry

Buddy is sick....

My lovely and talented dog has managed to contract a bacteria called Bordatella from his daycare. Apparently, there was a dog there last Thursday who had the disease, and they recognized it and sent him home, but it was too late. They were afraid that some of the other dogs might have caught it, so they sent out an email detailing what this stuff is and what symptoms your dog might have.

At least, they said that they sent out an email. I never got one.

So, when Buddy started sounding congested late Saturday night/ early Sunday morning, I was a little worried. By breakfast Sunday morning I was alot worried. But I couldn't get in to see the vet until 6:30pm Monday night. So, I scheduled the appointment and listened to Buddy wheezze and cough off and on all night... praying that everything would be okay.

Finally it was time to see the vet, and she asked me about his Bordatella vaccination. He had it 12-16-03 I rattled off. Sick how I have some aspects of Buddy's vaccination record memorized, isn't it? She looked a little surprised, then checked his chart where it was written that he did, in fact, have his Bordatella vaccination on 12-16-03. I am thinking right about then, "Why did you ask the question if you were just going to look it up anyway? Did you just want to put me at a psychological disadvantage? Like, 'you pitiful dog owner, you don't even know when his last shot was'. So you could be all professional and put me in my place before you told me how much this little disaster is going to cost?"

I can't help it, I get defensive with this vet. It seems they make a point of running up their bills as high as they can, like doing a cytology slide for an ear infection... when *every single* ear infection Buddy has ever had in his whole little doggie life has been yeast related.

She mentioned she was going to go check the cytology on the swabs and I finally got up the nerve to say, "I bet it's yeast." in a singsong kind of voice.

She sang right back, "I bet you're right." The undertone being, "I'm going to charge you for it anyway."

Bitch.

Anyway, then she informed me that for dogs that are exposed to other dogs on a regular basis, they really should have the Bordatella vaccination every 6 months. Shouldn't this be something that they told me when I came in to pick up his records so I could give them to the doggie daycare? Or maybe on any one of the last few visits he has had to the vet, when I mentioned how much he loves doggie daycare? Any of those times would have been perfect. But, no.... they have to wait until he gets sick. So he can come in for another office visit. And then he has to take antibiotics. And then he has to go in for a "re-check" visit. And then, if I am lucky and I am not so frazzled that I forget it, I can remind them to give him the damn shot that they should have told me he needed back in June!!!

Bastards!

At any rate, I have gotten about 4.5 hours sleep in the last 24 hours. I am tired and probably pretty incoherant at this point. I missed work today to watch over Buddy. Every time he takes the least little wheezy breath I freak out. I am starting to think he is just doing it to get my attention. Little faker.

Franz asked me this morning if he had a fever. I said "No, but earlier he bent over like he was faking a stomach cramp and licked his palms. So he had clammy hands. It's a good nonspecific symptom. He's a big believer in it." Franz said, "Little faker." I just laughed.

Points to anyone who recognizes what movie that's from. Not alot of points because it's easy, but points nonetheless.

Love to all,

Sherry


P.S.- I mailed in my ballot Monday morning. J.K., I've my fingers crossed for you, man. :)

Today, I was a social worker...

For the first time since I got this job, I was a REAL social worker. And I have to say... I TOTALLY ROCKED!!!!!! (O.K.- you guys are just going to have to go with me on this one... you know I am not the kind of person to blow my own horn, so if I say that I rocked, then it means that I totally rocked!)

I can't go very much into the details of what I did today, because of client confidentiality, and because I know that at least half of the people who read my blog are weirdos. You know who you are. :)

The first cool thing that happened today was I got a referral from a DHS caseworker for a client who needed to get some safety planning done. I called her and set up a phone appointment to talk with her about safety planning. Today was the follow-up call. I spent 45 minutes talking to her, and hopefully got her to go in and get a restraining order against her abuser.

The second cool thing that happened today is the main reason why I am so happy. This was the toughest case I have worked yet, and I handled it pretty well, I think. Anyway, I had a client referred to me from her DHS caseworker. She was actively trying to escape an abuser who was either already released from jail or was going to be released soon. She wanted to leave the country, and has family in another country. But she doesn't have a passport. So, I got on the phone and arranged for her to get an expedited passport. I also arranged for her to have shelter when she goes to the other state to get the passport. It doesn't sound like much, but it involved about 20-30 phone calls and a lot of verbal "gladhanding" other agencies to get what we wanted. By this time next week, she will be in another country, safe from her abuser and with family.

So, three and a half hours after her caseworker turned her over to me, I gave her back- along with a three page, typed, safety plan including the names of all the agencies I had called with their phone numbers, who I spoke with, and an "action plan" for what the caseworker would need to do to finish up with the client tomorrow.

She was stunned.

She thanked me profusely.

She asked if it was too late to contribute to the donation drive we are having for DVRC for Domestic Violence Awareness month. She actually stopped me on my way out to ask me, "Does DVRC take checks?"

I just smiled and said "Yes."

God damn, I love my job!!!

That's all for now. Love to all!

Sherry

I'm Suffering the Afterness of a Bad Night of Badness...

I got my first paycheck on Friday. Woo Hoo!! I get another one in two weeks. Woo Hoo! Work is going better. I finally have access to just about everything I need to do my job. Woo Hoo again!!

Franz and I threw a dinner party last night. I really like the people that we had over. I don't have to worry that they are too prissy to let Buddy out of his kennel so he can just be his little doggie self. They brought wine, too. Of course, I should have drank a glass or two of it, but I didn't.

No, I had to make up some Cosmopolitans.

3 of them to be exact.

God, I don't feel well. I woke up about 5:30 this morning absolutely convinced my head was going to fall off the top of my neck. It hurt so much that I was thinking that might not be a bad thing.

Franz was a doll, of course. He took Buddy out for his first walk of the morning. Because I was pretty much convinced one (or more) of three things would happen if I did. I thought I would:

a) Fall over and die... or
b) Forget to put on some important article of clothing... or
c) Get mugged by the first person who saw me just because I looked so obviously hung-over...

Thank God for Franz.

Anyway, it is 12:15pm right now. It's been a good 13 hours and change since I finished my last drink and I still feel dizzy, nauseous and just generally crappy. I really should not *ever* drink. I was particularly dismayed last night to find that my Southern accent is more pronounced when I drink. I forgot about that from the last time I had anything. Not that I mind having a Southern accent, but I do enjoy being able to keep it in check. But, once I get some vodka and triple sec in me, that just goes right out the window and I sound like a total hick.

And a Southern accent, with a slur? Just lovely.

Ick! I don't really have very much else to talk about. At least I finished off the last of the vodka and lime juice last night, so there will be no further temptation to make any more brain poison anytime soon. Just the thought of that right now makes me so sick I can't even tell you. You know, though, it's funny. I have had less than 5 hangovers in my whole life. This experience is still new enough to be novel, but it's getting old quick. I don't think I want to get to 5. I think I would like this to be the last one.

That's all for now, guys. Hope everyone out there is having a better day than me (even though I totally deserve to have the day that I am having, I still am not very happy about it.)

Love to all,

Sherry

The second week begins....

So, here it is, early Monday morning. I am getting ready to go to work. I am hopeful that things will get more streamlined and go more smoothly today. I have so much stuff that I want to get done, but it is so much more difficult when you don’t have access to phones or computers or stuff like that. I will be darned if I am going to keep using my cell phone to conduct DVRC business… I am almost out of minutes for the month already!

At any rate, I have been able to compile a brief list of things you do well NOT to ask about or think too hard about when you work in a state office… hope you guys enjoy!

Questions you should not ask when you work at a state office

1) Why does this desk smell like urine?
2) I have this phone’s base… but where is the part of the phone that you hold?
3) Why did they take all these chairs apart?
4) What is that stain on the carpet in front of my desk?
5) A cell phone would be the most efficient thing to have to do this job… can I have one? Or would it be better to try to get 6 supervisors to coordinate 3 phone numbers at 3 offices?
6) Who should I ask about the computer that is sitting on this desk, but doesn’t actually work?
7) Where is that crying coming from?
8) What is that SMELL?!?!
9) Can I get a desk? Can I get a desk that has a chair that makes it so I can fit my knees under the desk?
10) Can I get a chair?
11) Why is this sticky?
12) Is that blood?

Well, that’s about all I can think of. Hopefully, some of those questions will be answered this week. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy to have a job. And I feel like I have great potential to really do some good. I just would like to start actually doing it some time soon.

Love to all,
Sherry

The first day of work...

Well, this is going to be short because it is "late" (9:55pm for all of you who are curious) and I have to be in bed at the old fogey time of 10:30pm because I am now a member of the working world. Thank God! :)

Today was wonderful, scary and a challenge... just what you would want your first day at a new job to be. I can see where the pitfalls are going to be, but the challenges don't look insurmountable at this point. I went to all four of my "offices" today. I met between 50-75 people. I was briefly introduced to about 90% of those people, so there is no way I will remember their names. I will be going on the location of any given person for indentification purposes for a while... for example, if there is a male person sitting in Joe Blow's cubicle, I am going to call him Joe. I could be wrong, but at least I will have a shot. :)

I can also see how this is going to be an incredible job, with a lot of wiggle room for me to really make the job my own and start some really innovative programs. I have tons of ideas for how to do these things, but I want to get a look at all the stuff that has been done in the past before I begin. Unfortunately, with the amount of turnover both in DVRC and DHS, institutional memory has a tendency to be a little forgetful. That is one of the challenges I will be faced with.

Another is getting established. And making sure everyone knows my schedule, knows when I will be at which office, knows EXACTLY what my job is so they aren't referring inappropriate clients to me, etc. I figure this will take a good 3-6 months to get accomplished. Wish me luck.

But, I think today went well. I already worked an extra half an hour, so I have to find out if I am allowed to get overtime. If not, then I will get to leave a half an hour early one of the days this week. Either way it is all good... extra money, or extra free time. Life is beautiful.

Well, that is about all for now. I really am very tired, the kind of tired that brings to mind the phrase, "I am tired, Lord. My body's weary." I know that is from a show or a movie somewhere... I am just too tired to try to think of it right now.

Thanks again to everyone who wrote to tell me congratulations, or how happy they are for me, etc. I love all of you guys, and I am very happy about this new opportunity myself.

Thanks again and love to all,

Sherry

The last day of freedom...

Today is my last day of freedom before I begin working again. After four months off, I am ready to work. But I am already missing my freedom a little bit, and dreading what promises to be an awful Hwy 26 and 217 laced commute.

What would I like to do with my last day? Lay in bed and read my Bill Clinton autobiography. Snuggle with Franz. Walk Buddy a bunch and play with him. Walk around Hoyt Arboretum and try to reconnect with nature a little bit before I start driving and choking the life out of the trees with my car's exhaust. Maybe watch Criminal Intent before it's time to go back to bed to sleep.

What am I going to be doing? Laundry... lots and lots of laundry. It seems to pile up so quickly, and the washer and dryer are small (by necessity) so you just have to take little bites out of it at a time. And then more grocery shopping. And we have to fix the toilet today or else I might lose my mind. The stupid thing runs every time you flush it. Something about a floating thingy that isn't floating right.

Yesterday I got my hair cut and colored. I am happy with the haircut, but not really the color. It came out too dark. But it at least answers the question about whether or not I need to continue to take the long drive to go back to that hairstylist again. The little woman I have remembered so fondly all these long months of my exile from the working world forgot who I was completely and didn't remember me or my color until I had been in her chair for about a half an hour.

I also got my car serviced this weekend, so the Buddy-mobile should be good to go to return to its former job as the Sherry-mobile.

The best part about yesterday was that I got to go to the Rose Garden arena for the first time. We went to see my very first hockey game. Of course, I was about 45 minutes late (thanks to the aforementioned forgetful hairdresser). But I got to see the last 2 periods. There were some truly spectacular fights, one of which happened when I went out to get a bite of food. The cheers and screams from inside the arena were almost deafening, so I turned to look at the monitors. There were these two men on the screen... each had grabbed a hold of the others' shirt and was just pummeling the other. It was sad, scary, funny and a little horrifying all at the same time. I was thinking about what Franz had told me earlier, "When the gloves come off, the refs don't get in the middle to stop them." I think that refs even stop boxing matches sometimes. I guess if you really want to beat on someone, you should go into hockey.

There was one fight where a whole bunch of players on both teams got thrown out. They announced each players' name and how long he was going to be out for. "Joe Blow of Portland gets two minutes for tripping, Jack Schmoe of Seattle gets five minutes for fighting, etc." Then I had an epiphany. The music group "Five for Fighting"... I always thought that meant that there were five guys in a band and that if you wanted to fight with them they were telling you ahead of time that there were a lot of them, so maybe you shouldn't bother. Like, "If you pick on one of us, you are going to have five of us for fighting." But now I think they maybe just named their band at a hockey game. I suppose I could get online and research this further. But, well, this is my last day of freedom. And I really don't care to find out that badly.

Well, that is about all. Buddy woke me up extra early this morning to go for his first walk. I am starting to think that maybe his restlessness is related to the miniature earthquakes they say we are having. I don't feel them, but they say that maybe the animals can. He does seem extra needy and whiny the last two days or so. But, he has finally settled down to go to sleep for now. So I think I will head back to bed myself.

Love to all,

Sherry