Noise...

Good morning everyone!!

Today, I have been thinking a lot about the nature of our existence in the modern world. Living in our time is unique... not because of how much of our attention is demanded, but because of how much of our *inattention* is required to exist peacefully.

There is so much in the modern world we are not supposed to attend to. A random radio playing in another cubicle, the train or other traffic sounds going by outside beneath your window, some random homeless person shouting obscenities at the air when you are walking your dog.

And it’s not just living in the city. Everywhere I go, I have something I am supposed to be ignoring, but only partially because at any time it could be important. I have 2 cell phones, a pager and a Palm Pilot. If any of them vibrates or rings, it is something I must pay attention to. But, right this moment, my work cell phone is beeping every few minutes to tell me that it’s battery is dying. I don’t have the charger with me, it is either lost at home or stolen from one of my DHS desks. Either way, there is nothing I can do to rage against the dying of the light for my poor cell phone. So, that’s a beep I shouldn’t pay attention to.

I set my pager up to turn itself on and off on it’s own. It faithfully comes on at 8:00 am every morning, with a cheerful little chirp. It’s not something I need to pay attention to. Yet, I have chosen to think of it as the little electronic machine’s version of saying "Good morning, Sherry! How are you this morning?" Today, on the drive to work, I found myself looking at the clock on the radio, waiting for 8:00am to arrive, so I could hear my little "Good morning!" beep. My radio must be set a minute ahead of my beeper. I was a little worried when 8:01am rolled around and the little beeper hadn’t said anything. If 8:02 came and there had still been no sound, I would have been checking batteries, seeing if the pager was essentially sick or hurt. This is a piece of plastic and a few wires, folks, and I have endowed it with the power of thought, speech and the ability to become sick, requiring care-giving on my part. This is not right. I know it, you know it... and yet, there it is.

Let me ask you a few questions. When was the last time you were truly alone? Truly alone and completely surrounded in silence? There was no background noise, no machines whirring in the distance... no copiers buzzing, or air conditioning humming? No television, or radio, or computer text in front of you? No early morning garbage truck slamming around giant metal dumpsters like an angry child at play? No dog breathing quietly at your side? No nothing... just quiet and you?

How long do you think you would have to maintain that state before all the thoughts and concerns of your everyday world would fade away? Before you could get rid of the Britney Spears song that has been stuck in your head, and periodically reinforced by the media, since it first came out on the radio? How long until you wouldn’t remember the jingle for Jello? (J-E-L-L-O!) How long until you would just be yourself?

Can we ever even be ourselves without the others? The other humans who make the sights are sounds that, most of the time, we are supposed to be ignoring?
I don’t know.

Worse yet, I don’t know if I ever want to find out.

Love to all,

Sherry